heart-to-hearts #3 – how do you live in a world in shambles?

Hey… so… Isabelle here again with another heart-to-heart. Me here again with my thoughts, thoughts and fears that I am too scared to share and yet I know I have to. I could of course, put it into a book. But sometimes, there are days when I just don’t have the patience. Some days when I just need to let it out. Some days when I need others to hear what I have to say. Some days when it’s truly terrifying for others to hear what I say.

So… welcome back.

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for me, spring is meant to symbolize new beginnings. hope. after all, it’s the time when the bitter cold ends. when plants start growing, when new life is born. and i guess it’s kinda been that way.

except at the same time, it hasn’t. because right now… in this world, the last thing i feel is new beginnings. i don’t normally like to listen to the news. but some days i kind of have to. weird, i know. i mean… i know i shouldn’t focus on it. and i don’t. but sometimes, i just…. have to know what’s going on. sometimes, i need to see the darker side of things as well as the light.

but at the same time, it gets me worried. it gets me sad. and it gets me thinking. because right now, instead of hope and new beginnings, all i feel is that the world is in shambles. the new president of the united states of america has imposed tariffs on China. China’s responded… well, practically the same way. there have been more retaliations. more fights. more wars. more violence. there’s all the hate groups, all the racism against Asian-Americans and so many other people, all the feeling that the world is in shambles.

an eye for an eye. that’s what all this brings to mind. a single fight, leading to more fights, leading to wars. and over what? i’m normally a really hopeful person. the kind of person who believes in a better future.

except that that future really can’t happen on its own. i don’t know about fate or destiny or anything like that, even though i write about it. life works kind of differently than a fantasy novel. and i know that that future – a better, kinder future – can only happen with all of us. working together. like how Sophie Anderson said in her book The Thief Who Sang Storms. when Linnet managed to bring the people of Morovia together and unite the alkonosts and the humans…

well, it didn’t occur to me while reading it. but now? in the midst of the chaos, suffering, and shambles of the world, it’s popped back up. and i can’t help but wish it could be that simple.

i mean… like race or identity or anything other big, impossible thing to believe in, it does seem simple at first, doesn’t it? work together for a better future.

and yet. in times like these – when tariffs are being imposed, when the world is an eye for an eye till the world goes blind, when there are wars and suffering and fights and no one ever being able to really see eye to eye – it…. well, i don’t know what to say.

i don’t know how to describe it. i’m scared. i’m having doubts. i still do believe, and yet i doubt it at the same time. and for me, well, i think if you go onto spotify or youtube and look up the song Waiting on a Wish by Rachel Zegler, that pretty much describes how i’m feeling. i feel like i’m waiting. hoping. wishing.

wishing for something that feels so impossible. wishing for a better future amidst all the darkness of the world.

some of you might already know everything that’s been going on with the 2025 live action remake of Snow White. i haven’t seen the movie yet. but seeing all the backlash, seeing all the hate and fights and arguments and terrible things happening over controversies like casting a Latina actress to play Snow White… it brings me back to these thoughts. thoughts i’ve avoided for so long because i just couldn’t face them. thoughts i’ve avoided because i, like so many others, was scared.

i still am. i know i’ve mentioned in my books that you just need to stand up against darkness. i know i’ve mentioned even in my about me that that’s what we need to do. and yet, it is so much easier said than done. why? i’m not sure yet.

but i do know that fear has a tight grip. fear is a useful weapon. and sometimes it feels so impossible to fight against it, with things like hope, friendship, and courage, things i believe in, and things i stand for, when the world is so tightly gripped in fear.

i’m scared. i’ve been scared to do so many things. i’ve been scared to rock the boat with any of my own opinions. i’ve been scared to stand up against controversies like racism, politics (i still do avoid politics since i care nothing for any politician, i’m afraid), and more. and you know that petition to bring back NaNoWriMo i started?

i’m scared of that too. because it feels like i’m rocking the boat. and it feels like if i rock the boat any more, it will flip over, and we’ll drown. there’s been so much hate in this world. so much controversy. so much fighting that sometimes i just doubt that we’ll ever see eye-to-eye.

i’m not saying everyone has to agree on the same thing. but why is it so hard, to just ask for peace? to respect each other. and most of all, to listen. to actually listen to other’s views, their own experiences, and why those experiences matter.

i guess maybe that’s why i became a writer. because in the very least, i can try and weave in little things like that, book by book. at least i can do something.

with Trump’s tariffs on China, well, my family won’t be able to get any medicine we need from the US. i know nothing about politics. but i know enough to know that this isn’t helping. shutting out each other won’t help. because to have a better future? to actually come together?

we can’t just shut each out. we have to listen. we have to lend out a hand and be kind.

and we have to believe.

but amidst all this darkness, sometimes it feels like those things are just so far out of reach. even the hope i normally get from movies, stories, songs, in short, stories feels faint. strong, yet so faint and so far out of reach.

so how do you believe? how do we come together, put all our biases aside, put all our fears aside, to come together, help, and make a better world?

how do we do all that when the world feels like it’s shambles?

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That is what has been going on in my head right now, and I’m staying up super late to write this. I’m scared to post this. I’m scared of… well, a lot of stuff. And yet, it is very likely that this will be posted anyway. So guys… well, thank you. Thank you for listening to me and thank you for all the support you have shown me.

Isabelle

P.S. So few people in this world have ever made me feel seen. So few people in this world I actually feel… well, perhaps ‘connected to’ isn’t quite the right word but I guess… understand me? And one of them is Tae Keller. She’s actually the one person who actually gave me enough courage to start posting these heart-to-hearts. So please, please, please support her (and other children’s authors!!! Kelly Yang, Valinora Troy, Leah Larkspur, Shannon Messenger, AF Steadman, Amy Wilson, Sophie Anderson are all great ones!!!) and go read her books!!! (they are great books!!!! Read them or else! XD)