Hello, all!! š First off, I wanted to say HAPPY DECEMBER!!!! Tis a new season upon us, and I’m wishing y’all a wonderful holiday season!! Funny thing, I actually didn’t realize it was December till I glanced down at my journal, saw November 30 as the current date, went over to the calendar, and realized tomorrow was December 1st…
*totally didn’t spend a few seconds staring at the calendar in shock*
I have missed this blog quite a bit, and so hopefully I shall be able to post a bit more later throughout the month!! ^^
But the first thing I wanted to talk a bit about is… well, something I’ve been struggling with.
Burnout.
The Cambrige Dictionary defines burnout as thus (and why yes, I do indeed read the dictionary and own a very VERY heavy copy of the Oxford Dictionary at home…… *glances around* What?? Tis fun to read the dictionary!!! All those words…. Tis simply splendid.) : extreme tiredness or mental or physical illness caused my working too hard or trying to do too much.
Which…. pretty much sums up exactly what I have been doing through. Trying to do too much has honestly just been precisely me this past year. Trying to write a perfect book! Trying to manage a YouTube channel and a blog and make both pretty and nice and aesthetic! Trying to handle a fantasy anthology! Trying to handle a podcast on pantsing!
Just trying, trying, trying.
Trying to run faster. Trying to “catch up” and “grow my writing.”
It all honestly feels like pushing boulders up a hill at this point. Like that legend of Sisyphus from the Greek myths, who was eternally condemned to push a boulder up a hill, only for it to keep rolling back down and forcing him to start the task again.
It has almost been a whole year by now.
And now that I am looking back, I honestly can’t help but feel… almost a twinge of sadness.
Like it has already been one, whole year, and it feels like I am just getting absolutely nowhere. I still amn’t writing 2K each day. I still don’t have a draft of Island Keepers finished. I’ve just found myself in this dry spot, just…. unable to write.
Burned out.
Like I just feel far too tired to pick up the pen and start writing.
Which I originally just wrote off as writer’s block. Which I attempted to just push through. “Just keep writing. This piece of writer’s block shall vanish after that.”
And yes… Just writing is oftentimes how I do indeed confront writer’s block, and it has indeed worked for me countless times before.
Except this time it wasn’t writer’s block. And each time I picked up the pen or started typing on the keyboard, all I would feel was just tired. Every word I wrote just felt like plodding through mud, draining me bit by bit.
This whole autumn, I was so hoping to finally get Island Keepers or some other project finished, to be able to enjoy writing and have fun with it.
But now it’s December, and I honestly just feel… nowhere closer to finishing.
And part of me is just so exhausted it just wants to collapse onto the bed and cry.
I so want to finish this book.
I so want to write.
I so want to… “make it”.
And a lot of the advice out there for burnout is just “take a break.”
Which hasn’t really helped that much. I’ve tried to not write. And yet each time this story just keeps calling me back, and trying to not write hasn’t helped. Especially in a world where everyone online just seems so productive. Where YouTube is just full of “productive, cozy writing vlogs” and it feels like I am eternally behind. Which as someone who also has an AuthorTube channel hasn’t been fun.
And so that is where I am as of December 1st, right now. And I do wish I had a better update y’all and that this was a cheerier post, but… yeah, I suppose this is just where I am right now. Languishing and toiling in the Depths of Motivation Sapping.
But yeah. Do let me know down in the comments how your own writing has been going, or if you’ve been going through a dry spell recently too as well. (Or just share of your own writing victories, if you’ve had some! I’d love to hear from y’all!)
Ah yes, and before I forget…. Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^ And feel free to share if you have plans for Christmas down in the comments! Currently all I really want for Christmas are two things…. books… and a dagger. XD
(What? I’m a LOTR fan!!! Fantasy daggers look so cool!!!! Alas, daggers and swords are banned in China. But someday!!! I shall buy a sword! And hang it on my wall! And perhaps someday I shall be brave enough to actually unsheathe the thing….)
Till next time,
-Isabelle
P.S. For all my fellow LOTR fans, you may enjoy a song I randomly found on Spotify called Hobbit Life by Regan Hicks! Tis quite a relatable song, aside from the second line. And for those who have been feeling a bit melancholy recently, NOTE TO SELF by Gabriela Bee is a song I’ve been listening to for quite a while now!
At risk of sounding pick-me, being an artist is SO DADGUM HARD for this reason. If I’m burned out on work, I can ask for fewer hours. If I’m burned out with cleaning, I can take a break. But writing doesn’t let you go! I made myself take a break for several months and forced myself back into it sooner than I should have, because the stories wouldn’t leave me alone! We’ll get through it, I’m sure, but it’s tough at the moment.
No, no you don’t sound pick-me at all! I relate to what you’re saying so much. >.< And it's true!! I've had the same thought!!! The stories really don't leave me alone at all, which makes taking a break quite hard! And indeed. I hope so. I... have honestly not been having much hope at the moment and have just been slogging through writing and life and such. *sighs* Alas.
Just want to say thank you for being so honest. It’s definitely easy to look around and see everyone seemingly doing perfect, being so productive, and writing thousands upon thousands of words…and your blog is always a breath of fresh air! I love how you share both your victories and your hard writing times–it’s really encouraging.
Wishing you the best of luck in finding the joy in writing again. <3
Oooh books and a dagger sound like a delightful Christmas wish! š
I love Lord of the Rings! (my family was actually that for Halloween one year) We did it as a read aloud, and it was so fun! The characters are so fantastical and the world so vast and magical and imaginative…*sighs dreamily* Wouldn't it be so cool to explore Middle Earth??? And maybe even meet the hobbits? (one would have to avoid orcs, depending on when in the story you arrive)
And possibly trolls.
And also Ringwraiths…
*laughs nervously*
Who is your favorite LOTR character? (if you can choose one?)
And I'll definitely listen to that song! (and I love that you have your own dictionary! That's so fun!)
Anyway, apologies for this long ramble of a comment. Happy December!
*hands you hot coco with marshmallows and warm cookies* š
Thank you, Lola! That means a lot to hear, and I’m really glad my blog feels like a breath of fresh air! ^^ And I agree. I’ve definitely struggled with feeling like everyone is always seemingly doing perfect, and honestly, because of that, I have sometimes debated whether to actually share my writing struggles or not, if that makes any sense? I honestly just felt like so many people on YouTube only watch those vlogs because they want to see success and productivity and perfection — which is stuff that… just is not my writing process/journey at all. And thank you — I hope so as well. <3
And indeed!!! I do believe having a dagger is now one of my life goals lol. As a fantasy writer, I simply must get one! Somehow!!! And oh my gosh yes LOTR is soo good!!!!! And that sounds like so much fun!!!!! I don't really celebrate Halloween, but I do have half a mind to just get all my friends and get all of us in a group just to be Ringwraiths and gallop up and down the streets. XD And YES I love the world!! And the characters!!! And yes it would be. I'd love to visit Gondor! And Rohan!! And the Shire, of course. Hobbits are the best. (And this is true. One would not wish to be killed by orcs before they even set sight upon the Shire!)
Ooh that's a good question... definitely Aragorn. It simply HAS to be Aragorn. He is the best. And Merry and Pippin!!! They're such fun! And Sam, of course. (And the Ents and Gandalf and Galadriel and Arwen and... *realizes I'm listing way more than one favorite character* XD) Who's your favorite?
And yay, I hope you like the song!!! Owning a dictionary is great fun -- though it ways.... a lot. It's probably the heaviest book I own!! (I cannot even put it on a bookshelf because I am certain said bookshelf would just crash under the weight. Not that I have incredibly sturdy bookshelves, but....)
And no worries about the long comment! I love long comments!!! (Lol anything that gives me more to read. XD) A happy December to you as well, Lola! Best of luck with your writing! *gladly accepts hot coco and warm cookies* *offers some mango sticky rice and sugar donuts*
That totally makes sense. Iām so thankful that you share your journeyāitās so inspiring!
Ooh I love all those characters!
Hmm my favorites areā¦(*thinks hard*) probably Eowen and Pippin!
Ah, I see how the heavy dictionary could be a problem to book-laden shelves! I may have to find myself a dictionary or thesaurus, too! (I love finding new words in thesaurusesā¦Iāve been on nice, long, winding rabbit trails because of thesaurusesā¦one might even call it procrastination! I like to think of it as creative exploration!)
*looks at mango sticky rice and sugar donuts with those emoji heart eyes and sighs dreamily. Accepts them with a smile and a hearty thank you!*
Thanks! And I think sharing the hard parts about writing does help you to let you know that you’re not alone, I think? (If that makes any sense at all) Because, well, after sharing some of my own writing struggles, I found out that other people had also had the same struggles? And that I wasn’t alone!
And ooh Eowyn and Pippin are AMAZING characters!!! I love Eowyn! “I am no man.” And how she killed Witch-King… I love her! She is amazing! Faramir’s a good character too!!! I am SO glad he didn’t die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although I’m not a fan of Gollum or Denethor…. *shudders* Nasty characters they were. Do you have a least favorite LOTR character?
And it is!!!!!! It would be so cool to have the dictionary just up on a bookshelf — but it’s already so heavy, if I were to JUST put the dictionary on the shelf (without all my other books as well!) the shelf would slowly but surely deteroriate and sag…… And ooh!! I’ve never used a thesaurus before! Perhaps I should! (ANd that is a good way to think about it! It technically is helping your writing after all!)
Mango sticky rice is AMAZING!! I don’t know if you’ve had it before, but we got it in Thailand, and it’s basically mango and sticky rice,with coconut cream or something drizzled over the sticky rice with a few crunchy coconut bits on top. (Coconut?? I don’t know. It might be peanuts.) It is incredible!
Yes! I totally agree that sharing your own writing struggles makes you feel less alone! Especially when other writers come around you to lift you upāIāve shared my hardships with it before and the encouragement they gave me was so amazing!
YES!!! Eowenās declaration that she is no man??? SPLENDID! PERFECT! *chefs kiss* the amount of times Iāve quoted that line isā¦ermā¦far too many to count! Sheās so fearless and inspiring! And, yesāFaramirās an awesome character too!!! (Three cheers to a long life for him!)
Oooh, least favorite character?
Probably Denethor or Wormtongue? They just give me all the slimy icky conniving character vibesā¦
As for Gollum? Letās just say I wouldnāt want to meet him in a cave without a riddle (or many!) in my pocket! (But alsoā¦heās so quotable! āMy preciousā¦ā My siblings and I often declare his line in a gravelly voiceāabout any precious-to-us thingābefore making a āgollum, gollumā sound)
Ah, I see what you mean about the dictionary! I didnāt realize you meant it couldnāt even have its own shelf! (I misread, apologies!) That must be one self-satisfied bookā¦probably thinks heās quite the big deal!
Why, thank you for validating my thesaurus deep-ocean dives! I shall quote you if anyone (for some reason, Iām not sure why they would) tries to stop me from opening its pages once more!
I have, in fact, never had mango sticky rice! But it sounds DELICIOUS!!! Iāll have it someday (preferably in the near future, but who knows!)
Indeed!! It really is!!! The writing community is always so supportive! (Especially in kidlit. MIddle-grade authors are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met!)
YES I LOVE THAT QUOTE!!!!!! And then she just pulls off her helmet! (And also beheaded that giant eerie dragon-thingy the Nazgul were riding). And killed Witch-King!!!!!!! XD Have you seen the LOTR movies? (I watched the movies first before reading the books). Lol a quote I cannot stop quoting from the movies is just this: “He was twitching!” “He’s twitching cause he’s got MY axe embedded in his nervous system!!!” It always cracks me up!! Oh yes and Gandalf’s quote, “A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.” I love it! ANd three cheers indeed!!!
Ugh Wormtongue!!! Yeah, I remember him… He was awful! I hated him! I got the same slimy icky conniving character vibes… I was most pleased when, in the movie, Theoden just tossed him out. Denethor is awful as well. He was terrible to poor Faramir!!
I agree!! I would never want to meet Gollum. But he IS quotable!!! “My precioouuusss….” “Tricksy little hobbitses… they stole it from us!!!” (Or in my case, replace hobbitses with Amazon because Y’ALL I PAID 40 DOLLARS FOR MY AUTHOR COPIES ITS BEEN MONTHS WHY HAVENT YOU EVEN STARTED PRINTING YET?!!!! Okay, I’m sorry, but just… Amazon is the worst.) And oh my gosh yes, that “gollum, gollum” sound… I do that too lol!
If anyone attempts to stop you or any writer from opening the pages of a thesaurus, I shall personally buy a horse and a sword and personally come over to battle to the death with that person. *brandishes a sword threateningly* One should never keep a writer from her dictionary or thesaurus!
And *gasp* you MUST have mango sticky rice!! It’s incredible!!! (Actually, you should come to Thailand lol. Tis simply wonderful! The food!!!! THE FOOD!!! The wonderful prices… The beaches… The sea… The kayaking… *sighs dreamily* It’s wonderful.) And also the eternal summer. XD
Oh my goodness, yes!!! There are so many good quotes from Lord of the Rings…one I often say is when Pippin darts in and asks, “Where are we going?” (but in this silly, quirky voice!) (I’m pretty sure that might only be in the movies, though–which, I have indeed watched!)
Oof, that stinks that you haven’t gotten your author copies!!! I’d be comparing that to Gollum too if that happened to me! (Which, I mean, being in that situation–having a published book to begin with that needs author copies–sounds like a dream to me! Just not the waiting on the books partā)
Why, thank you for your defense of my thesaurus! I shall warn anyone who tries to stop me that I have a sword-weilding author on my side! And if (for some reason) that doesn’t work, I’ll threaten to write them as my side-kick on one of my stories. (the perks of being a writer)
Now you have me wanting to travel to Thailand! (wouldn’t that be spectacular???) It sounds positively amazing! Hopefully someday!
Also, this is a sort of random question-but what website builder do you use for this blog? It’s so pretty and aesthetic and very detailed–I’m quite curious!
(also, I’m replying to this comment up here because there was no reply button on the previous one…so here it is I guess! š
There are!!!!!! I was just chatting with my friend yesterday and we were just spouting LOTR quotes at each other. Speaking of LOTR quotes, a particular one that’s stuck in my head is just, “DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (you know, when the Rohirrim are about to go to war?? Against the orcs? To save Minas Tirith?) T.T I remembered watching that and wondering why they couldn’t pick a more…. inspiring word. Ooh and this one: “Left or right, Gandalf?” “Left.”
Which is only in the extended editions, apparently… (Have you seen the extended editions?)
And yeah……… It’s been months since I placed the order and it is literally stressing me out so much! Like what the heck KDP!? I already paid for everything! Including the shipping cost!!!!! WHERE ARE MY BOOKS!
And this is true — but I am certain you’ll get there someday!! You’re a wonderful writer!! (And when you publish your book, let me know! I shall buy it if I can!)
And lol yes. I saw a mug that said, “Do not annoy the writer or she will put you in her book and kill you.” XDDD
I use WordPress!! (But my site isn’t really based on WordPress. It’s its own site? And then I just WordPress to design it? I’m not really sure how it works…. My dad was the one who worked out most of the tech issues, and I am only the one who does the writing and designs the header graphics and such.) I’m glad you like my blog!! (It took… quite a lot of trial and error before I got it to look good. The header and background have been changed many times haha. And looking back now, I’m not entirely certain they always looked good… I’m glad they look good now though!)
Ooh, I have yet to see the extended editions! They sound cool though!
Uggh I’m sorry it’s stressful. That stinks. T.T Hope they come soon!
Aww, thank you! That means a lot!
Oh my goodness! That mug is AMAZING!!! I may need to find that somewhere… Writer jokes are the best! I have a shirt that says, “I’m a writer. Anything you say or do may end up in a story” and I always laugh when I am wearing it and catch an idea from something that happens around me!
Oh! WordPress! That’s so cool! I love how you made it so unique–I never would have guessed that’s what platform you used!
The extended editions are THE BEST!!! They are simply splendid. And you get to see Eowyn’s terrible stew!!!
Thanks — I might reach out to KDP one last time to see if they can help… If not, I may just end up cancelling this order. *sighs*
And yes, I SO want that mug!!!! (I designed a sign with that phrase in Canva, but I forgot to print it out before we left Thailand… And alas, lugging a printer to Thailand is a bit of a hassle, so we didn’t take it.)
And thank you!!! I’m glad you like the blog!! (I love yours too!!! And all your posts are such fun to read! And tis nice to see another A Wolf Called Wander fan!! I’ve been mostly impartial to wolves most of my life for some reason. But I adore foxes and ravens and owls though!!! They are probably three of my favorite animals!)
Ooh! I remember in the movie when Eowen gives Aragorn some soup…
Hope you eventually get that poster! š
Aww, thank you! Yes!!! Another “A Wolf Called Wander” fan!!! I loooove wolves…they’re my favorite animal and I want to be a wolf conservationist! But I understand being impartial to them–not everyone loves them. But yes! Foxes and ravens and owls are really cool! I especially love the interaction between Wander and his Raven. It was so sweet! <3
Ooh! Perhaps you have indeed watched the extended editions then. (The extended editions are over… three hours, I’d say? Around four for The Return of the King, I think.)
And thanks, I hope so too!!!
Indeed!!! I don’t dislike wolves (not one bit!), I just… don’t have the same pull of intrigue towards them as I do with ravens and foxes and owls, I suppose? (I don’t think I know that much about wolves, actually.) And oh my gosh YES, I loved that interaction as well!!!!!!! And I was glad to see a raven in the book!! (I love ravens! Which… may seem odd, since I kind of made them minions of sorts for the villain in Enchantria, but…)
Ohhh I thought the extended editions were books! I probably have seen them then! š
I see! That makes sense! I love that you love foxes and owls and ravens–it’s always so cool to learn about what animals intrigue and bring other people joy! And I think it’s so cool that you included ravens into Enchantria, even if they were sort of the villain’s followers!
And (SPOILERS TO WHOEVER READS THIS!!! DON’T READ UNLESS YOU WANT ONE!!!) I’m curious about that plot twist! (the one with Wren) What inspired it? (also, please feel free to delete my comment if you don’t want there to be spoilers to your book in these comments, I totally understand!!!)
Oh lol! They aren’t! They’re movies!!
And yes, it is! I always enjoy hearing about other people’s favorite animals. Haha, someday I will write a book where the ravens are the heroes and not the villainous followers!!!
And no, I don’t mind you asking! I… honestly don’t really know, if that makes any sense? Part of it is because I may have forgotten a bit!! And part of it is that it didn’t really come to me like an idea just popping into my brain. It sort of slowly developed in the very depths of my subconscious, as I slowly learned a bit more about Ravena and her past and such. I knew Wren existed, and part of me knew I couldn’t just leave this plot thread hanging! I also knew that they needed some guide of sorts that would help them find the Shadow Orb, and slowly that idea came to me. Elenora also needed a lot of character development in book four (she was quite whiny in the original draft!!! And very untrusting after Arabella’s betrayal. Which, while you can’t blame her for that, eventually got to a point where it was really stopping her from growing and becoming the person she needed to be to defeat Ravena.) And so those sort of came together to form the idea that Wren would be the clue and that Elenora would need to trust Wren and face her fears to defeat Ravena. It also helped me figure out how Ravena would be defeated/what would happen to her after that. In previous drafts, I’d attempted either redeeming her or just having her blasted into a little pile of ash. I wasn’t quite happy with either of these options, and I wanted her to be given a bit more depth/history. So I think that’s kind of where the idea came from? I also had the random idea of “what if there was a spirit trapped inside a crystal?” one day, so all that came together to form this idea.
Hope this makes sense!!! It’s a bit late here, and I… have a tendency to ramble on! (Sometimes perhaps a bit too much!)
Wow! Thatās really cool! Thank you for sharing that inspiration process with meā¦I love how all of those different thoughts and ideas and revisions came together to form this piece of the story!
And I didnāt think you were rambling too much at all! One needs a little ramble in oneās lifeāit keeps one dreaming and thinking about what is said!
I’m glad you enjoyed hearing about it!! (And I am very glad you enjoyed the plot twist!!! I had a wonderful time writing that final line of that chapter… “My name is Wren.” I believe it was?) And indeed!! I couldn’t agree with you more on that!
Yes!!! That final line was so hard-hitting!
Writing woes aside, your musical taste is impeccable.
XD Oh! Thank you! I have a most eclectic collection of Liked Songs lol…. Ranging from country music to K-Pop to fantasy bard songs…. My Liked Songs actually has over 1000 songs.
Same same…but my liked list is only forty-something songs long lol.
I assume you haven’t heard Luminati Suns’ acoustic version of Note to Self, so I shall take this moment to recommend it (their non-acoustic version isn’t as good, in my ever so humble opinion).
(GASP) Only forty-something songs?!?!?
(is shooketh)
That is so little!!! You must collect more liked songs, Ava. You simply must. And ooh, no I haven’t! Thanks for the recommendation! Listening to it now!
I have oodles of playlists (I just caved and made a playlist titled angst lol for when I’m in a mood), but the liked songs playlist is a fluid thing. It changes from month to month.
By the way, Spotify Wrapped is apparently out and while I don’t have the app and can’t get the full experience, I do know what my top 100 songs are!! Jesus is Coming Back Soon was at the top <3
Haha!! That… sounds like something I would do. XD And oh, really? Mine honestly doesn’t change that much, except for me adding a bajillion new songs each week lol.
And ooh!!!! I just checked my Spotify Wrapped (it was so fun!!!), and my top song was apparently “The Moon Will Sing” (the cover by Annapantsu), “The Wellerman”, and “Soldier, Poet, King.” And oh my gosh, that’s amazing!!!! <3
Honestly I’ve been in a burnout for most of this year myself and it was getting to a point where I was beginning to consider giving up. I think the main reason I was, was because I was pushing myself too much and was constantly stressed. And because of all that worry and stress, what I was writing wasn’t actually good. I was trying to make it all come out a certain way and now I realized that was all wrong, because I wasn’t enjoying writing at all anymore. It was just another daily task to add to the list. The thing that actually recently that got me out of it was the writing contest you created. At first I tried writing high stakes tales and sweet sentimental stories for it, but I realized none of it was right, because it wasn’t me. I was just forcing myself to write. I didn’t know my characters, I didn’t like my characters, I was just writing for the sake of writing. So instead I switched gears. I wrote a story with funny characters and an absurd story line and for the first time in ages I enjoyed writing. This was when I realized I had been going about things all wrong. After I finished the story, I went back to projects I had given up on and rewrote them, but this time I wasn’t forcing out a story with bland characters, I was giving them color and allowing myself to feel connected to them. Honestly without that short story contest I don’t know if I would have ever realized what I was doing wrong. So thank you. I hope you are also able to find what has been stealing the joy out of writing for you and turn the tables so you feel motivated again.
That… makes a lot of sense, I think. And this may actually be the same problem I’m having right now. Feeling forced to write and not having fun with it… I’m glad my short story contest helped though, and you’re back to writing!
A bit unrelated but since I just celebrated my birthday, I got a really cool metal sword bookmark with a dragon pendant hanging from it.
Oooh that’s so cool!!!!!!!!! I adore bookmarks!! And swords! And to combine those two…..
And also, a happy belated birthday to you, Agnes!