PLEASE NOTE: This guide may not work for every writer as it is up to you to best decide how to banish your Dreaded Inner Critic. Every writer is different as is every Dreaded Inner Critic. Please also note that Isabelle Knight is not liable for any damages, broken objects, or mental breakdowns caused by this tutorial. Please do not repeat her process of disciplining my Inner Critic on any person in real life. Consequences of doing this in real life may involve arrest by the police and life imprisonment.
STEP ONE: Name your Dreaded Inner Critic.
Every Inner Critic has one. Don’t say yours doesn’t. (Alright, well, I don’t know about THAT… every writer is different, after all). Oftentimes, your Inner Critic already has a name it as (very rudely) not told you yet. If that is the case, you have two options.
Give your Inner Critic a name you made up yourself that fits its personality and will annoy it to death. Something like Judy, Anna, Jack, whatever. (My deepest apologies to the real life Judy’s, Anna’s, and Jack’s out there).
Or do some digging to find its name. Sometimes the Inner Critic will let it slip (mine did when I misspelled the word brain which revealed the name Brian). Even better if the Inner Critic doesn’t want you to do some digging.
If you are unable to find the Inner Critic’s name, then just make up whatever comes to mind and call it that. The point is to find something to call your Inner Critic (albeit, it is much easier to get your Inner Critic’s attention once you have found their real name).
STEP TWO: Stop listening to it.
Easier said than done. Trust me.
But every time your Inner Critic says you are a bad writer, return with the lines of “I am a GOOD writer.”
Your writing may be a total disaster, but remind yourself that writing is SUPPOSED to look like a total disaster!!! Up until the final draft, it will likely look disastrous unless you are a unicorn blessed with magical powers. This is especially true for me and for every other writer in this universe.
Now, this thing I am about to tell you may also fall into Step Three, but this is a way that especially works for me. Every time your Inner Critic says, “You’re such a bad writer. You’re so slow”, go back, look that Inner Critic in the face, and ask it, whether calmly or furiously (the decision of whether to do it calmly or furiously depends on you and your Inner Critic) what it has ever done for you.
Trust me. That will get it to shut up PRETTY well.
Ask it this. What have YOU ever done? Hm?? Have you ever written a book??? Have you ever PUBLISHED anything?? Have YOU ever had people say “Your writing is great”???
(These questions depend on what sort of writer you are/at what stage you are at in the writing process).
As a published author, I often ask the Inner Critic, “Have YOU ever published a book??? Have YOU ever helped me publish a book??”
The answer is always no.
STEP THREE: (the funnest, in my opinion, especially if you love torturing characters) DISCIPLINE THIS CRITIC.
What you have to do to discipline this Inner Critic really truly depends on you as the writer and this Inner Critic. My ways of disciplining Brian shall no doubt vary GREATLY from how you will discipline your Inner Critic. But this is a way my friend taught me, and it works quite well for me.
First, face the Inner Critic.
Second, stare it right in the face. Glare at it FURIOUSLY. Muster all the rage you have at this Inner Critic — at how this Inner Critic has made you feel worthless, like your writing is trash, etc. Muster ALL the rage. Give it either: the meanest glare you have, the most intense glare you have, or as I like to do, stare daggers at it.
Third, in a very calm, very angry voice, tell the Inner Critic that as of now, it is being stupid. Very stupid. Point towards a closet (or a cage or a room, whatever) you have in your brain. Tell it to go in there. Lock itself in.
The Inner Critic will likely refuse to.
Therefore, you shall have to punish it/discipline it. So I suppose it is like disciplining a child, except this Inner Critic is NOT your child and therefore you can be much harsher with it.
What I like to do is what I call The Way of the Four Elements.
First. Set the Inner Critic on fire. 🙂 No. I am not joking. I quite literally set the dratted thing on fire. (In my head, of course). Toss a bonfire onto it, then grab it, toss it into the closet, and lock it in with a VEEEERY strong lock.
If it breaks? I may do this over and over again.
If it has still not learned its lesson, I will resort to water. Tying the Inner Critic to a rock and then dropping it in an ocean in my brain.
And on and on with the other elements.
Now, this is my way, and as you can see, this is rather violent. I wouldn’t ever do this to ANY real person in real life. However, as this is the Inner Critic, I shall do whatever it takes to silence the Inner Critic. You may have to find your own way — throwing books at it, having it get mobbed by all your pets, etc.
Your way may be more or less violent than mine.
But the important thing is to not let your Inner Critic win.
But also to NOT feel bad or beat yourself if the Inner Critic sometimes wins. You are not a bad writer for having self doubt and wrangling the Inner Critic isn’t easy.
But the fact that you ARE trying to wrangle this critic and you aren’t going to let this Inner Critic control you is already a step forward!!!
And remember:
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I made the font as large as possible. I could go larger, but I think this is enough).
Now…
Writers…
MARCH ONWARDS TO VICTORY!!!!
(or The End)
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